It was a hot summer day, the warm humid air clung to me, food and drinks (just water for me) were being enjoyed, and I was spending it with my boyfriend and family at my dad and aunt’s farm. I remember my family waiting in anticipation as my due date was coming up in about a week. I was guessing it would still be quite a few days before my son’s arrival as I shrugged off the fact I was having intense pressure pushing down that wasn’t there a few days before. Also I was sewing and knitting baby clothes like a mad woman. Just before leaving my dad and aunts’s farm we took a few photos in the farm stand, I made plans with my aunt that we would grab lunch in a couple days before my son was born, and hugged everyone goodbye for the day. My boyfriend and I had returned to my mom’s house where I had been living. My plan was to give birth at the hospital in my hometown so my mom could help me the first couple months when my boyfriend returned to work after the first week of our son’s birth. My plan was to move in with my boyfriend once I healed up (though who knew, I’m still not healed up properly at 2 months! More on that in a further post).
That evening he made the 3 hour ride back to NY. Just before bed we talked on the phone and I joked, watch our son come tonight after you just got home. Well our son made sure that joke came true. A couple hours later as I was ready to doze off I felt like I was a bit wet. I got up to check and though, hm… can this be my water breaking? But it wasn’t that much liquid so I changed my liner and got back in bed. Unable to sleep, I started to research what it’s like to have your water break since I didn’t have the slightest clue. I felt like I had to pee (which was always lol), got up, and there it was, my water definitely broke! Shocked and excited I ran in the bathroom grabbed a wad of toilet paper and then ran/waddled down to my mom’s room. She was in such a deep sleep but that wasn’t for long as I yelled, “mom, mom, wake up! My baby is coming!” I called the doctor, they told me to head to the hospital, and my mom and I were off in the wee hours of the night.
I was checked in, wheeled up to the maternity ward, and called my boyfriend to tell him to come right back, our son is coming soon! It felt all so surreal yet real. It was really the most unusual, nervous, exciting feeling I have ever felt and all I could do was smile. Oh did I smile, almost the whole thirteen or so hours, with a few exceptions of pain and crying. My boyfriend took Uber down for the long ride and arrived shortly after they gave me medicine to start my contractions. Up until then my contractions refused to start. The labor pains weren’t so bad until the medicine. Each wave of pain got worse but when my boyfriend came to join me and mom, who was keeping me company, I felt a good time of relief. Though as the sun started to rise I was becoming less tolerant and less smiley. The contractions really had set in. So I gave up trying to tough it out and got the epidural. It was seriously the easiest thing, the needle hardly hurt and soon I felt loads better. As it drew closer to noon I started to have the urge to push. The doctor came in with the resident and the nurse, my boyfriend and mom at my side giving me emotional support. Now this was the really difficult part, pushing. Though mind you I kept smiling between each push. I just couldn’t get the second and third push so well. It took a while and the help of me squatting with a bar to balance. I highly recommended squatting for any future mamas. It helped me figure out how to push more efficiently.
My dad had just gotten to the hospital but opted to wait out in the waiting room. Though he wanted to say hello so he peaked his head in the door between me pushing. I was in the squatting position with a cover draped over my nether regions. He was quite shocked to see me beaming a big smile as I squatted on the birthing table. He wished me luck and returned to the waiting room. Later he told my mom I looked like I was at a spa and not giving birth because I was smiling away. I wish, as the post pushing was not as pleasant. Finally our son was born 7lbs 2oz with a full head of hair. Just as he came out I joyfully with tears said,”my baby, my baby”, quite loudly. As I looked to my side, my boyfriend and mom were crying too. Our baby was beautiful. I felt a deep connection the moment I held him, like I have always known him from long ago. I wanted this blissful moment to last uninterrupted, though unfortunately I had quite a bad tear that had to be stitched for an hour or so. Focusing on my baby helped, but even through all the numbing I could still feel part of the stitching happening. Ouch!
The following days were bliss mixed with intense pain. I had many trips back to the doctor’s and still need many follow ups, but even with all of the misery and pain, there is an extreme joy and fulfillment. It is truly unlike any other feeling I have ever had. Because of this unique and surreal joy I was able to float through the first few weeks, through the pain, and know that I have just filled the glass that was half full. I look forward to sharing my experiences as a first time mom with you.